need help connecting to server

got vps aka virtual private server , i put my server exe there and its listening state=2
when normally gets connected it says state=7 how ever i cannot get connected to that server.

1: i have dynamic dsl living in uk.
2: i have a telephone jack that has a modem filter on it and from the filter small telephone were goes into my modem it requires me to connect manually or disconnect by software.

3: i also got a belkin router connected to my pc lan power hosting out wireless to my family.

4: i am lost ,dont understand why i cannot connect.

5: when i run server.exe in my pc and get my friends to connect they are able to connect to me but when i give them the server.exe and i try connect to them i cant!!!!!!!!!!! urgent please help anybody please.

i got a speedtouch dsl modem



:(:(:(:(:(:(:(please:(:(:(